Welcome to The Vail Project Blog

written by Vail's mom

 

This blog is intended as an outlet for personal feelings surrounding the loss of Vail. The content may be triggering to others who are suffering grief from child-loss. Content found on this blog may be offensive to some, though that is not my intent.  I can only hope that my open accounting of this tragic journey, touches the lives of others.  This blog should serve as a safe place, where all who enter can be honest about the shattering grief of child-loss, no matter how ugly the truth may be. 

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What to do when a grieving person snaps...

When you are grieving, people are quick to offer support. What they aren't quick to offer is understanding. It's because they can't...

12-Step Grief Program for Dads

Today was a hard day. And not just for us. As we push forward with trying to create awareness and understand SUDC more, we are faced...

The monetary cost of loss

This is a post about something that affects us all. Money. I have to admit these days I don’t much care about money. I acknowledge...

Things to do today

1. Get up 2. Survive 3. Go back to bed. I read a quote today that I thought I would share with you all. It really felt like me. She...

The nothingness

Some days are filled with so much emptiness that it is impossible to feel anything else. It doesn’t creep in like a fog. It slams into...

Don't call me Strong

I hate it when people say "you are so strong." Reason 1: I have no other choice. I have to survive it. If I don't, I fail my surviving...

The kind of attention no one wants

Tonight, I did the second of two local news interviews about The Vail Project, on live tv. EEK! This is something I never thought I would...

Living with the guilt

Every parent worries about their child. Those of us living with child-loss are walking talking balls of fear and nerves. We lost our...

This Grief. Our Marriage.

Steve said to me tonight that he would like to see me write about our marriage. My response was that I had been thinking about it a lot,...

Faking it.

No, I'm not talking about the infamous scene from 'When Harry met Sally.' That would be more fun for sure. I'm talking about the...

Saturday grief lessons with a side of fries

After running a few errands this morning we decided to take Aspen to play at Chic-Fil-a to burn off some energy. Aspen loves Chic-Fil-a....

Grief is like a disease

I haven't spent enough time in other countries to know how they handle grief as a culture. I can say that in the U.S. we don't handle it...

Triggers. Triggers Everywhere

What is a trigger? That's a good question. It was not a term that I was familiar with before we lost Vail. "A trigger in psychology is a...

I have to do what? And how to survive it.

The list of things you have to do when you child passes away is very daunting. I am still amazed at all the work it took just to get...

The losses within loss

So living your worst nightmare has its costs. What is the actual cost of grief? It isn't just the loss of self, your sense of joy or...